Thursday, September 13, 2007

Filling the void over long distance.

Over the past few days I have been working on a statement for the benefit of the members of the Takemi Dojo in the Neverwinter Nights public game server, Phoenix Rising. I received approval from significant parties involved and then posted it into the general discussion category of the Phoenix Rising Forum message board. The next day I discovered a response that was contrary to the intent of the statement but I held myself back from responding in haste. I re-read all the information several times and finally revised my posting to emphasize the intent of the statement and counter point, without appearing to be confrontational.

Ms B has been an important motivational inspiration and a resource of ideas to guide many of the steps I have taken in recent weeks. I have also experience a greater satisfaction with the amount of training and exposure of BDSM related activities and D/s relationship behaviors. Some of these experience are conveyed in Second life Game with Adrien where I have no inhibitions and I welcome Ms B to test our personal boundaries. We also voice over IP where my physical and mental boundaries are far more sensitive. Typically I do not hold much formality in voice and so far Ms B has tolerated the randomness of my behaviors. I speak my thoughts more openly and I feel comfortable taking risks when sharing good natured humor. I am more emotionally sensitive and expressive witch can work for me or get me into trouble. I recall an idea that suggested this type long distance relationship forces both individuals to focus on emotional aspects within short bursts of time. This limitation of connectivity creates a void that needs to be filled, perhaps like an addiction and does not seem to be satisfied. People tend to fill the void with an illusionary life with there partner, constructed idealistically with our imaginations. My question is, am I living vicariously in the perfect illusion of my mind and would I be in such bliss if I were to experience the true reality of the complete D/s lifestyle?

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