Trust her to handle your Failures

July 21, 2007 8:58 pm Trust her to handle your Failures
I want so much to be that perfect submissive that it pains me to think that I will fail over and over again. Some how I must release my fear and trust in that her choices in dealing with me are for my own good and just as likely for her entertainment. Yes I am aroused at this thought right now that when I choose to submit to her authority and endure the mental and physical challenges that she will be taking great pleasure in my submission or so I would hope.

My second fear is that I do not take failure well as I might have more pride then humility. I get serious, with my patented annoyed expression or perhaps a defensive tone. How horrible it is for Ms B to see me like this. I want to be happy with a positive attitude and I need to see her happy or again I might feel like a failure. I cannot imagine going through all these challenges in growing into a D/s relationship, with so much trust and effort … while knowing the whole time that there is no guarantee that our relationship will grow for the long term. Ms B reminds me that our relationship is not long term when she says that she has got to find the right lady for me. But I can take great pride in having met a friend who gives of her self as much as I wish to give her in return. I feel naive saying that I can be her ideal submissive for the long term, because I know there are many challenges to overcome and maybe some realities we cannot overcome.