Nurturing the Hair Brain

Aug 28, 2007. I woke up early this morning to spend time with Ms B before the start of my first full work day without my hat. I felt mentally lethargic and hazy as we chatted about the blog I had posted the night earlier. Ms B then said to me “You may wear your hat today. I cancel last night’s order. I'm doing this because I don't like the emotional effect the order has on you and I do it happily and am not disappointed in the least.” I suddenly felt pathetic, in that my lesser behavior last night and this morning had influenced her decision. Ms B reassured me of her understanding and concern while pointing out that I was not ready for this challenge. She vowed to move forward in a manageable pace and ordered me to research the local hair styling salons in preparation for a new cut and style. This significantly raise my spirits as I felt enthusiastic about this idea despite the guilt I still held for letting my vulnerabilities surface so dramatically. Society seems to portray men as being tough and in control of them selves until the point where they snap and deal with there situation in some physical expression of energy. I left the house that night without my hat saying to myself, take it like a man and deal with it head on. No one would have ever known how I really felt about the situation, not even Ms B, if it were not for this blog/journal. Had I never written and submitted my thoughts then I would have denied Ms B of her function, her role and her purpose as the dominant of our relationship. She said it best in these final words to me that morning. “You didn't (drag me down) and this is apart of the job love. It is what makes me feel like a woman.” If I were to hold on to the strong silent type persona and pretend that I could deal with any challenge I would be denying us both one of the most cherished qualities that men and woman share in there emotional intimacy. In a word, “nurturing” is the way we help each other to grow and bond together in a loving relationship.