A Hair Raising Dilemma.

This morning I shaved and trimmed my facial hair in a significant way for the first time in more than a month. When I got home I took 40 digital pics of myself in as I adjusted my hair and clothing, looking for a picture that pleased my minds eye. The results were disappointing mainly because I am still not happy with my hair. I expressed my dissatisfaction with Ms B and mentioned that I felt a sense of security by hiding under a hat when I go out in public. Ms B then took control and forbid me from wearing a hat ever again unless the circumstances were extreme enough to warrant it. I was amused at the notion and had a hard time taking this demand seriously. As I began to fear that she was serious I thought there is no way I would be able to make this promise and keep it so I dug in and responded negatively. She reminded me of my pact of submission as I sought ways to deflect or stall the conversation. She suggested that a week would not be so bad and I hypothetically agree with her not realizing that she would take it as an official agreement. I have no guarantee that after a week I would be free to wear my hats again, but worse yet I later realized that the worst part will be the first few days. She asked me to consider: How did it feel to dig my heals into the sand? I felt a sense of desperation to pull my hat out of the fire without risking the loss of my status as submissive under consideration for Ms B’s collar. I felt I could listen to her tone and seek a distraction or compromise until she put her foot down. No I do not want to remove my hat in public at this time of the evolution of my appearance. Ms B wants to take away the thing that shields me from the public of my most significant hang-up and she is not giving me any time to prepare myself. I can see myself spending 30 minutes in the bathroom tomorrow fussing with my hair to make it look reasonable in my minds eye. It’s probably going to be a waist of my time since I do not have any hair care products to control my hair and allow any pleasing shapes. I would imagine the best I can do tomorrow morning is to pull it all back tight and tie it much like the photo that both her and I dislike. Going out in public with this image in my minds eye will be humiliating experience and it will start right now. I need to feed my friends cat tonight so I will be back soon. … As it turned out I followed Ms B’s order and took a picture of myself before going out and when I returned. I stopped off at the drug store along the way and bought some hair spray thinking this will help in the morning. As I entered the store I had thought of a strategy to help me deal with my humiliation. Normally I watch peoples eyes and reactions, but this time I purposely avoided eye contact so that I would not know if they were looking at me. I thought “Ignorance is bliss” but I still feel lesser of a man having stooped to this level. I am not a happy camper now that I am exhausted, seeing it is way past my bed time as I finish this entry.