Think: She has the power over me

July 21, 2007 5:30 pm Think: She has the power over me
Ms B was asking me questions about my daily arousal and I mentioned that I have voluntarily abstained for her. This was in my control to do for her. She Told me that the next time I was horny or aroused that I must think of the fact that I have handed the power to Ms B. That someone other then myself hold this power.
Our conversation moved on to a new topic and yes I agree with her that I am not a natural submissive or my submission is not natural. My submission is consciously and deliberately given with the desire to mutually enjoy this fantastic type of relationship with that one special lady whom I can trust my every thought with. My submission requires great amount of trust and this is something grown and earned through experience with her. My Avatar has nothing of value to loose, but in Real life I am submitting and trusting her with everything that makes me who I am. If I were to do this today, I would be acting upon blind faith and that is a far cry from trust. So this is where my irrational fears surface from. Irrational in that I fear giving up everything to then wake up one day to find myself used and abused. I would imagine that I will know the difference because we will develop a foundation for me to use as a bench mark of comparison. I like to think of this foundation basis includes the feeling of love and caring. Although you must admit these two words still lack the detail of definition between two people who have not developed these bonds through time of experiences.