Someone needs to be in control. Ladies first.

July 24, 2007 12:30 pm Someone needs to be in control. Ladies first.
Ms B suggested that I am the type of person who needs to feel that I have a sense of control. I thought to my self, I don’t need to be in control so long as I can see that I see my significant other has the situation in control. Knowing she has things under control allows me to relax and anticipate her needs that I might be able to please her. If she appears to not have control then I have a stress response. I then must communicate to her and determine how I can help. If I feel that the situation will corrode into chaos then I react and take control and fix the situation so that she might be able to recover and hopefully taking the control back. All my decisions are based on my trust or faith in her ability to control the situation to the level that I believe is required. So the question is, can I truly be a submissive male? I want to surrender, body, mind and soul to that one like minded woman who is capable of meeting my expectations of keeping everyday life in a reasonable level of balance. I am here to help out in any way she sees fit. Keeping everyday life in balance, is that too much to ask? I believe that everyone’s minimum expectation should be for a balanced and stable existence. I have many examples in my life where I surrender control to the person who seemingly needs it or has my confidence to handle the control appropriately. I do not feel the need to wield the control, but I need to see that someone is in control and doing well with it. So my long lonely walk is about loosing faith in finding that person that I can trust. My long lonely walk is also about my resistance to taking a risk. Taking risks is another serious subject that I have not tackled that continues to inhibit my determination to find a RL relationship.