Are you sure it is all about her?

Last night Ms B and I shared another stimulating conversation.... Get your mind out of the gutter. It was purely intellectual. Well, mostly. Anyways, she clarified my misunderstanding of the dramatic event that she has planned for some unknown time in the future. She helped me finalize my statement for the Takemi Dojo on the official position regarding BDSM and slavery. Among several other topics, she had also graced me with a compliment. I forget the exact words that she used but it was something to the effect that she was pleased with my progress in my role as submissive in our relationship. I was happy to receive her praise but I could not imagine the ways that I might have improved. On the contrary, I remember two times in recent memory where I felt depressed that I had disappointed her, denying her the power of control and satisfaction in our relationship. If I were to exclude these two situation, generally I respond to her with honest and natural reactions. If the majority of my natural behavior is pleasing and reflect her expectation of a submissive male, then I say that is a wonderful thing. I simply cannot see how my behavior has changed. Instead I think most of my behavior was always a part of me but it might require Ms B to create specific circumstances to present the opportunity for me to express it. Additionally it takes someone to be paying attention with the knowledge and ability to recognize my behavior for what it is. Perhaps it is just me who cannot see her subtle manipulations that slowly and stealth fully alter my behavior to conform to her desires. Yes, it is suppose to be all about her, and if she is happy, I am too. … Oh my god … where did that come from?