A Cryptic tale of Secrecy

I suppose the most obvious place to start this post would be to consider why I have not written in my blog for such a lengthy period of time. Sounds rather boring to me so instead I shall take a step forward to the next most obvious topic, and allude to what has happened over the past several weeks. The most interesting subject is more like airing dirty laundry, so to speak. Apparently, skeletons in the closet can cause discomfort to all those participating in the secret. I happen to be a victim of such a scenario. I was privy to the secrets of the past sins of someone very important in my life. The skeletons in their closet have now become a burden upon me. Twenty one years of stories shared and secrets kept had come to a climax for all involved. So far the anxiety of holding these secrets have been a source of self inflicted stress and a waist of energy. A major hurtle had been cleared this past weekend, although I just realized that I did not get back in touch to determine if those skeletons have been buried. One can only hope.

Shouting the Dojo Agenda

I still struggle on a daily basis, thinking that this appointment to the Dojo is just not my thing. I have not yet taken an opportunity to share the Dojo Agenda with anyone not already a member. I feel relieved to find an excuse when distracted with other activities that would prevent me from taking a walk to the city center to meet with the general public. Whether it is OOC or Role play I simple do not like drawing attention to myself. In an attempt to fulfill my obligations I am contemplating an alternate solution by posting an announcement in the shout channel as follows.

Pardon this interruption for a PR guild announcement. I would like to take this moment to offer my time in answering questions you might have regarding the Tennen Rishin Ryu Takemi Dojo. The Dojo invites all Character classes, races and genders equally within its member ranks. The Dojo is a place for learning, socializing, role play, group hunting and developing combat skills.

The Dojo inherited its flavor from the Japanese culture but has been adapted to fit into the society created by the PR Council. Members are expected to respect the Bushido Code while learning to apply its Virtues to everyday life in Lenn Amar. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me via Tells or check the forum under guilds.

Another week in Heroshi's life

The new leader of the Dojo, Ando was chatting with Lord Cougar and Periwinkle. Ando feels positive about preparing a proposal to make a request on behalf of the players of the server that would also be well utilized by the Dojo. He asked for the game world designers to create some new areas with some atmosphere for a DM to create a story line or adventure. The areas should be void of monsters and special effects so that it would not be contributing to lag. This is all well and good if you have captured the enthusiasm of a DM willing to dedicate time to this end but from my observations recently, there are no DMs with such time and dedication who would be up for the challenge. Ando mentioned both Xeno and Periwinkle, but my optimism is lacking as of late. In fact my optimism has been lacking in regards to a few more situations within the game server over the past week. I still have not found a comfort zone with Heroshi being in public attempting to promote the Dojo agenda. Secondly when asked if I was interested in participating in a private group session to discipline our submissive I felt very uncomfortable with the idea. And lastly this troubled girl returned to the server and reminded me how uncomfortable I felt with her way of sharing the negative details of situations she fell into. I get the idea that she is subtly looking for someone to rescue her from the mess she finds herself in. So far I managed to dodge that pitfall by reasoning with her like a father knows best attitude and a condescending tone. Anyways, within all this rambling I frequently wish to disappear into the wood work to avoid these situations but being visible is one expectation for my position in the Dojo.

Stepping Up to the Challenge

Having been voted into second leadership position of the Takemi Dojo is a mixed blessing. This enables me some control as to whom can assume power of the Dojo’s leadership in the sense that only two official positions are approved by council. Obviously it becomes my responsibility to fulfill the obligations of the position even though such obligations are not defined in writing. What ever these obligations might be I take my position very seriously and as a result I cause myself a heightened level of stress that I am not accustom to. Further more I have become aware that my role is that of a public relations representative. The idea of mingling with the public and approaching people in hopes to recruit members and advance the agenda of the Dojo is uncomfortable for me. I am much more comfortable being a listener and guiding those seeking direction instead of taking control of the topic or subject manner. I am hoping that I find a happy middle ground and adapt to this new role.

Drama Among Guild Leaders?

Having waited until last night before taking my first action, I spoke to Lord Cougar regarding the Takemi Dojo and Syclya resigning. It was a surprise to him because my mention of this topic was the first word he had heard. He asked me for details but I felt it was best that he read the information that had already been posted on the forum. Later, as a result he ask me to make time for a formal meeting and then he directed me to the Forum for more details. Much to my surprise I discovered two more new issues that I believe are not coincidental with Syclya’s departure. The leader of the free crafters association had posted her tentative leave of absence from Phoenix Rising and her guild so that she might consider whether she might want to leave permanently. Then I discovered that Lord Cougar had just accepted the resignation of the leader of the Dominants guild. Following that, Lord Cougar posted a comment under the Dojo Meeting, and I quote “We're going to talk about why Ice(Syclya) felt she had to leave and I'm going to want some specific info.” Judging by his comment I believe that Cougar does not know why three different guild leaders have each left Phoenix Rising in the past 3 days, but I would guess that each situation is closely related. I dare say that we have more questions, then we have answers.

As the World Turns.

Sometimes you feel like you are watching a soap opera when you get involved in role play online. Approximately 3 months ago the Council of Phoenix Rising had appointed Syclya as new leader to the Dojo and Thalia as second. I remain at their side as quiet counsel as they deal with the public and political aspects of every day management of our guild. Syclya had confided in me with her personal feelings and frustrations over the past three months. The pressure seemed to have been coming from several angles and on a few occasions she has expressed her desire to step down. Last week during the Dojo meeting the warning signs had become openly visible when she asked for the members to pledge for her to stay or step down. Last night she broad caste a public shout declaring her departure from Phoenix Rising, despite the full support of the Dojo members in the meeting the week before. I spoke to Thalia and she confirmed that she was able to carry the burden while we awaited Phoenix Rising council to accept Syclya’s resignation and convene to discuss the future of the Dojo. Now I stop to consider my course of action because every time this situation rises I am called upon to declare what role I shall play in the future of the Dojo.

Observation of Behavior at Work

Over the years I have quietly watched the way my boss treats people when they are working for him and coming to ask questions. Now that the bosses daughter is working with us I am surprised to see the she does not know how to handle him. She is subjected to the same treatment and I can sense her frustration. She came in my office today and broached the subject, thus confirming my suspicion. Why can’t he trust that what she has to say is important? After all she is about to spend his money and we all know that he will have a lot to say about it when he sees the bill. Oddly enough, several minutes later she mentioned to me in passing that he had something urgent to finish but neither of us knew exactly what it was. It actually sounded like she was trying to make excuses for him. I have seen him behave this way in the past with many employees and on a daily basis with his family members. I sometimes think that his ultimate message is that you need to present things that are high priority. I would think that if you can consistently demonstrate to him that when you have something to say, that he can trust that it is important. That he trusts you to be brief and to the point. I would think he could mitigate the problem but he has never been able to express it in words like this. Perhaps it is pointless to try to change the behaviour of an adult who does not want to change.